Inspired by David Beckham, his transfer to Real Madrid, my love of football and his nick-name, according to wife, Golden Balls. Not either a Manchester United or Real Madrid fan, but this Cockney Sparra, when cut, bleeds claret and blue. A fan since I was fourteen-years-old, watching those bubbles fade and die far more often than they celebrated success. I stood on the North Bank at Upton Park, with my dad, for more than ten years, until I married a serving soldier and moved to Germany.
THE MASSIVE TRANSFER FEE
I’m excellent at football,
A talent rather rare.
My speciality’s the nutmeg
And I have a golden pair.
The King of Spanish football
Came to visit me.
He said we want to sign you.
We’ll pay a massive fee.
I asked for my old number,
But they said it couldn’t be.
It’s with Raul our captain,
We’ll give you twenty-three.
You want to learn the nutmeg?
You have’t got a prayer.
You need a load of talent
And a golden pair.