ABDICATION

 

Two woman discussing Edward V111 ABDICATION. 10th Dec 1936

Bella: did ye hear the news oan the radio that the king is abdicating?

Jessie: Aye! That's awful, but he want's to marry the woman he loves.

Bella: A know. It's wan load o' shite. A cannie go that Wallis. Whit the hell does he see in her. She's as ugly as fuck.

Two day's later. Jessie rapping on Bella's door.

Jessie: Bella, Bella did you hear the news? The King's no abdicating. Parliament has given him a reprieve so he's going to be King after all.

Bella: So you're telling me that ugly American divorced cow is gonnie be Queen?

Jessie: Aye, that's what am telling ye.

1st September 1939. war breaks out.

Bella: Oh Jessie, we're awe doomed. See the King? He's in cahoots wae that
Hitler wan. If he wins the war we'll be Sprechen du Deutsch.

Jessie: Sperchen du Whit? Yer no makin' sense?

Bella: Speaking German ya silly cow.

Jessie: Ach how am I supposed to
know that? I think you're
becoming a traitor.

Bella: You know nothing. Am telling you, that Hitler fella will change oor
language tae German. Believe you me.

Jessie: We'll awe need tae go tae Night classes or that bloody monster will send us to the gas chambers.

1945 war over

Bella: Thank God for Winston Churchill if it wisnae for him that King would have had us awe Sprechen Du Deutsch. No two ways about it.

Jessie: Is Dutch no Holland?

Bella: No! Dautschland is Germany. Not Dutch, Deutsch!

Jessie: A always thought douche Wis something to dae wae
Washing yersel' doon below? Like giving yersel', good auld douche.

Bella: Ach there's nae Educating you Jessie. Yer just a numpty. Whit school did you go tae? The dafty School.

Jessie: Shut it you. Yer no so clever yersel'.

Bella: Anyway! We won the war, thank God. We can awe get oan wae oor lives noo.

28th May 1972 Bella banging on Jessie's door. Singing

Bella. Ding dong the King Is dead God save our gracious King

Jessie: Whit are you fuckin' oan about noo?

Bella: A just heard it oan the news King Eddie's deid.

Jessie: So who's the King noo?

Bella: I think it's Lizzie's son Charlie.

Jessie: So??????? Who's Lizzie and who's Charlie?

Bella: Oh! Fur fucks sake Jessie, Lizzie is Princess Elizabeth the daughter of George who was the King's brother. The wan that would have become King if Edward had abdicated. A think that's why they gave Eddie a reprieve 'cause George stuttered like fuck. Anyway Charles is Elizabeth's son and I think in
line of succession, Eddie had nae weans and George is deid. The
Succession goes to the male heir who is Charles. He's Just 23.

Jessie: Awe that's nice

28th July 1981. King Charles 111 and Lady Diana Spencer's Wedding

Jessie: Is she no just lovely? does this mean that Diana will be Queen?

Bella: Aye! That's what it means

Jessie. She's a lovely wee lassie, but they've justpicked her 'cause she's, a
virgin.

Jessie: How in the fuck dae they know that? Have they been lookin' up her ying yang?

Bella: Aye probably. They cannie have the King marrying used goods. A feel sorryfur her. He's about 11 years aulder. Don't think she knows whit she's gettin' into. I think he's still shaggin' that Camilla wan?

Jessie: Is that the horsey lookin' cow? Hope she never becomes Queen?

Bella: Naw! That'll never happen. She's just the spare oan the side. Diana's the Queen.

Fast forward 21st June 1982

Bella: That's King Charles and Queen Diana had a wee boy. They've named him William.

Jessie: Awe that's lovely. Does that mean he'll become King
when Charles pops his clogs?

Bella: Aye! That's what it means

Jessie. Another King Billy.

Jessie: Awe! Fur fucks sake. We're surely no gaun doon that road again?

Bella: Afraid so Jessie. Afraid so.

The End

And the rest is history. Or is it?

16th May 2023.

 

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