The Wake

Look at her Sadie shedding all those crocodile tears. Shameful! She couldn't stand the sight of him when he was alive. Mind you this is a rare wee wake. Well! It's no really a wake. This is what I would call the afters. A wake in the auld days wis when everybody sat roon the open coffin saying the rosary and drinkin' tea. A don't know what prayers the Protestants would say but a think it wis the same fur them back in the day.

Wid ye like a cake Sadie. Naw? Ok. I'll say this fur the grieving widow she's put on a smashin' afters spread. Think she feels guilty? Anyway as a wis sayin' Sadie. Dae you remember seein' yer first deid body? Naw? I dae a wis about 5 or 6. Lived in Anderston at the time. It was awe tenements.

Anyway this wuman came out o' the close and rounded up awe the weans tae her single end hoose, there wis this huge coffin takin up awe the space, an a deid man lying there haudin' a crucifix wae rosary beads wrapped roon it. We awe had tae stare intae the coffin an say Hail Mary's. I can remember it tae this day Sadie. Don't really know whit a thought. Maybe she didnae have enough folk fur the wake? Didn't really bother me back then Sadie.

Whit did bother me wis when ma Irish granny died. My Aunty Mary dragged me intae the room tae see her. I didnae want tae go but she said 'ye need tae see yer granny.' I wis about 9 at the time so I reluctantly followed her intae the room. I let oot a huge scream, somebody had gouged ma poor wee grannies eyes oot. Mary gave me a slap and told me it was pennies in her eyes to keep them shut. Those big pennies before
decimalisation. Apparently ye die wae yer eyes wide open. Honest tae God Sadie, I thought somebody had poked her eyes oot.

Then the family decided we needed a break after Granny's funeral. We awe got the boat fae the broomelaw tae Dublin. I wis 9. They booked a b&b in a district called Glasnevin right next tae a bloody cemetery. We'd just buried ma granny fur Gods sake.

The next day I was dragged roon this cemetery tae see the Irish Rebels who were buried there. Wolf Tone and Robert Emmet who were Protestants by the way. They died for the cause against the English in the Irish Rebellion. A graveyard wis the last place a wanted tae be. I wanted tae go tae the beach. But Naw!

The next place wis the bloody Church of Ireland tae shake haunds wae the crusader who fought 2 fucking centuary's ago I think. We had tae go doon tae this vault. There were deid skeletons hingin' oot o' coffins. It was like something oot o' Dracula. I got oot as fast as I could Sadie, sat at the metal door at the other side o' the vault. Then it opened up. I nearly shat myself. I thought awe the deid folk had wakened up an were coming oot. But it was just the end o' the tour and it was everyone just leaving.

Then there wis George my mother's cousin. He died in Derry. Now that was a real wake. Everyone gathered in the room roon the coffin, the priest saying the rosary. 5 f,n decades. Poor auld George lying there wae his rosary beads wrapped roon his fingers. Nae crucifix this time. Then we went intae the parlour fur tea and a swally. But before we did that Sadie they made me kiss George's forehead. It was like kissing a Stone.

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