THE MYSTERIOUS LETTER

Dad had died. I never really knew him, as he never spoke much. Mum was different. She loved me and we had great fun together. He was just there, lurking in the background.

I always wanted to just go out and travel to wherever my feet would take me. Since I was fifteen, I used to plan all the countries I was going to visit. My mum encouraged me as she had wanted to travel too but had met my dad and everything went wrong. He worked hard, and we had a comfortable house and food on the table, but he was boring. She would suggest where we could for the day or the weekend and he would say he was too tired or we could not afford it. He would always think up new excuses. Mum spent her time in the library or bingo. She enjoyed the company of other woman and listened to all their chatter.

He would sit watching television, watching football, boxing, and darts. To tell the truth, I forgot he existed. I spent as any spare time as I could my time at the youth club or playing computer games.
Life went on. I started work and started putting money past for my future journeys. Being a teenager, I was hardly ever at home. I was out with the boys, having a laugh. I never noticed it at first, but Mum got quieter, then started coughing loudly and sitting down more. She stopped going to Bingo and the Library. The woman next door asked me if my mum was all right. I got a terrible shock. I had not been paying attention to her and now noticed how thin she had lost. She did not look well and had stopped laughing. I felt scared and horrified, but I sat down and asked her how she was feeling.

She smiled sadly and told me she was dying. My world seemed to stop. I flung my arms around her and the tears ran down my face. I promised her I would help her any way I could, even though I could not bear the thought of a future without her.

My dad at last spoke to me. His voice was gruff. ‘Your mum is dying.” He just turned away and walked away without another word. At that moment, I hated him. Who was this person who stood before me? He never let me into his life and my wonderful mum always stood by him. “Have you ever loved mum?” I asked. He stopped, stared at me, and answered, “More than you will ever know.” I quickly said, “We will have to make her happy during the time she has left. Wake up! You never talk to us. You are like a robot. What kind of human being are you?” “We love one another. Your mum understands me.” With that, he disappeared into his room. Mum died three weeks later. I went through the funeral in a daze. Dad dealt with all the arrangements. He also spoke to the friends of my mum who turned up for the funeral and I was in a daze but did all that was expected of me.

I just felt blackness. Dad did try to get through to me. He did the cooking and the cleaning and his voice sounded kind but I ignored him. Months later I was determined to pack and move out. I did not care where I was going. I could not bear to be at home. Dad said he wanted to speak to me. I sat facing him disinterested.“I’ve not got my time to live. I’ve got cancer.” He eyed me expectantly. Thoughts rushed through my mind. Did he expect sympathy from me? Did he expect me to look after him?

I felt as if my mum was beside me. What would she have wanted me to do? She would have wanted me to look after him.“I’m sorry Dad. I’ll do whatever you need me to do. I’ll look after you.”His eyes glistened with tears. “I have not been a good father. I’m sorry. I’ve been suffering from depression for so many years and I don’t know why or what to do about it. Now, I have something to be depressed about. He laughed. This sad man was suddenly laughing loudly at how absurd life can be. He put his arm around me.

Life changed instantly. The two of us started to enjoy each day as it came. We talked about everything under the sun. We never spoke about any of the sad things happening in the world. We laughed at cartoons, and jokes, our sense of humour had returned.

Time moved on and finally, he ended up in hospital. I held his hand and he thanked me for the wonderful time we had together. Before he died, he said that I could sell the house and get a decent price for it and my mum had left a mysterious letter for me to read. She had said it was not to until he died.
He passed over and I left the hospital in tears and made my way back to my empty house. Pouring myself a drink I then went to the drawer and took out the letter. I sat down on the couch and slowly opened the letter from my wonderful mum.

John dear, your dad will be dead now and I know you will have looked after him because you are a good human being. I thank you for the great happiness you brought into my life. I won £40,000 in the bingo years ago and it is all yours now. Go out into the world and have great adventures. Meet people and enjoy every moment. I’ll be with you in spirit everywhere. Don’t worry about me because I’m with the wonderful man I love. I see him as the handsome young man who swept me off my feet when I was twenty-one. He made the world dance around me. Somehow, life got too much for him but he showed me what love is all about.

We had a wonderful life together. Suddenly, he began to withdraw into himself. Eventually, he went to see the doctor who told him he was suffering from depression. He had to pull out of it but he couldn’t and wouldn’t take any of the medication he had advised to take. You were the light of my life. Don’t remember me as being ill. Think of the fun we had together.
Go out and conquer the world. Every exciting country you go pretend that I am beside you.
All my love Mum.

Cecilia Barrie

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